Episode 2: Doc Dart

Episode air date: 09/09/2017

In this, the second episode of Profiles in Eccentricity, John tells the story of Doc Dart, entitled heir to a banking empire that didn't want shit to do with all of that.

Aaron is once again introduced as gorgeous. He then goes on to say he's pretty, but not smart. It's your lie, motherfucker. I'll let you tell it.

Doc Dart was born in Lansing Michigan in 1953. his great grandfather started Dart National bank and his grand uncle started Dart Styrofoam. So, money is falling out of this family's collective ass. Doc quickly becomes disillusioned with society in general, and gets into punk music. His family disowns him. He's a founding member of the band The Crucifucks  He would routinely cut himself on stage and call the cops on his own events so that he could fight them. This enamors me to him even though he's as much of a musician as my dog.

The band breaks up and Doc starts a baseball card store. He then tries to get into politics on an anti-rape platform. He doesn't win the election for Mayor, but by using the votes he had garnered, he was able to leverage to get the anti-rape center built anyway, which he helped to oversee.

This is the first episode where Aaron references Batman. Took a whole one and a half episodes. Hard to believe, right?

On 9/11, Doc puts signs outside of this house supporting the sentiment behind the attacks.

Not this summers hottest look.

This pisses off his neighbors to no end. He is routinely attacked and harassed. Whether you agree with him or not, it's a bad idea to whip your dick out on a playground, even if it is very funny.

John brings up Anal Cunt, the subject of episode 30.

Doc can't stop being inflammatory for the life of him, and the cops try and have him committed. Doesn't take. But he realizes that he's gotta change his ways. He gets into mysticism, retreats into himself to commune with the nature around his house, and basically becomes a luddite because he can't handle hearing what's going on in the world.

I postulate that this man spent all his time trying to offend absolutely everyone because he was constantly offended by the world in general. Straight up the most punk-rock dude I ever heard of, though.